The Downtown Farmhouse

It has been a year and some since I have written on this blog.

I don’t know why. I don’t think there is a reason except for maybe nothing big is happening and who wants to read about mundane, everyday hubbub?

My friend Ashley is in the middle of cancer treatment and she started writing a blog about her current life. It’s so good and made me think that maybe I should dust off the shelves of the ole’ blog and at least get it up to date.

The last time I wrote, our Ben had just had open heart surgery. We were all consumed with caring for the grand boys during that time. Ben is almost two and he’s so healthy!!! He’s very TWO, into everything and he might throw a fit here and there.

The others kids are great. Jack is 8, Luke is 6, Patrick is 4 and Abby is 2.

Days are full of homeschool, trying to keep everyone fed, wiping dirty hands and sticky counters. It’s so glamorous. It’s probably my favorite time in my life thus far. We are financial secure, looking forward to retirement, helping to raise some really great kids, sharing responsibilities with our grown kids and planning a homestead in our near future. I still host Tuesday morning Porch girls and a monthly book club. Steve works too much, but that’s not new news.

All this to say, the last few months, I decided to put myself on my calendar. I love nothing more than being a helper, teaching a little homeschool, running a home and being the first person to call when someone is in need. However, some Joy had left. I never made time to go to the garage and work on a project. I never sat on the porch and read a book. I rarely scheduled time to meet friends. While this is not a complaining session, it is reality and I knew something needed to change.

A friend asked me to start walking with her. Sure!!! It needs to be before I go to work……so 6:00? AM???? I said 6:30 for now.

Well that’s new.

A few years ago, I had back surgery and while I can move around fine, it’s definitely not what it used to be so I figured walking would be good and getting up in the morning is not going to kill me. 6 weeks later, I’m walking 4-5 miles a day and I even bit the bullet and bought some stupid expensive shoes that supposedly will help my feet NOT hurt.

I have a short story to tell.

Yesterday, I went to a chiropractor’s appointment. I told him I had begun walking everyday and that I was having some pain in my back area and some nerve pain radiating down my leg. He said an inversion table would be a great investment and would be helpful with the kind of discomfort I was having. I’m like OK well, how do I buy an inversion table? I don’t know anything about them and recently we have had some major unexpected household expenses so the last thing I wanted to do, is spend a bunch of money on something that seemed frivolous. I get home and I’m just scrolling social media and the neighborhood next to ours have a Facebook page and a person had just posted a free inversion table if anybody needs one, so of course I immediately said I would love to have it and he said well come on over and get it. He even helped me load it in the car. God’s so good. When I felt unsure and selfish taking time for myself, it feels like I was gifted the go ahead. We try hard to be obedient to Gods word and honor those in need with our abundance. Now, when it’s our “want” not need, it comes and lands in my lap. I was so grateful and had a good cry just thinking about how good God is to me.

It feels good to write again and maybe I won’t stay away so long next time.

As we enter the last quarter of the year, I want to not get caught up in the hustle and bustle of Christmas. I want to savor the moments that I am given and get wrapped up in the lives of family and friends instead of gifts.

We are heading to Massachusetts in a couple of weeks to spend time with our kids and Abby. Some apple picking, strolling in real fall weather and time well spent is on the agenda.

I have big plans for my Christmas porch this year. Maybe I’ll write about it.

The sun is shining and it’s raining. Florida is the best.

Talk soon,

Charma

Justin and I were recently chatting.

Most conversations revolve around Ben, what can we do for Courtney, what do the big kids need, what is for breakfast, lunch and dinner and endless snacks, who is going to the hospital today and who is watching the big kids.

The nurses at Shands Pediatric Hospital were talked about.

Justin called them the Seal Team of Nurses. They are the best of the best and while I have no doubt that nurses everywhere deserve the highest praise, as we watch the nurses care for Ben, we think they are extra special. We take them cookies and fresh laid eggs from our chickens. I speak words of encouragement to them as we stand around Bens bedside.

Yesterday, I spent time with Ben while his Mommy, Daddy and two older brothers left the hospital to attend Mass at a nearby Parrish and have dinner.

The hospital room is windowless and sterile. There are machines dispensing medicines and lots of screens to watch all the time.

I am not introverted and I like to get to know people. This would include Bens nurse yesterday. I instantly liked her. What makes you like someone? Their personality? Their demeanor? The loving nature they just have when their job to is care for the sickest of small children.

Many people are fascinated with our family dynamic. When we speak of a multi-generational home with folks raging from age 6 months to 88 years old, many don’t get it. They say they could never do THAT or they wish their family could live as we do. There is not much in between.

I spoke to Bens nurse about our Ocala family and then we spoke of our kids/men and granddaughter Abby who live in Massachusetts. We wish for them to move back to Florida, but until then we make the best of it with quarterly visits and lots of Facetine calls. She responds “I don’t normally talk about my family, but I have a wife and a child.” I listen intently as she speaks after congratulating her on her sweet family. She continues, “I listened as you spoke of your son, his husband and their daughter and assumed you would be okay me speaking of my wife and daughter.” I asked her why she was hesitant. She replied “I don’t want to make my patients or their families uncomfortable and I can’t have them hate me for the 12 hours as I care for their loved one.” My eyes……immediately filled with tears. “You never have to worry about this room. This room loves and we are excited to hear about your family.

Now, it is two days later and I’m still thinking about her. When you are amidst strangers, maybe think outside your box. It’s easy to get wrapped up in our own lives, me included…….but WOW people deserve to be seen and heard for who they are. People should feel able to share their lives whether you agree with them or not. She is proud of her family and wants to share with others without feeling judged or hated.

What an honor to show love to someone while they are showing love to our Ben. What better way to show the love of Jesus than by acceptance, non judgemental behavior and kindness.

I shared with my friend Becky about my conversation with Bens nurse and she always has the best things to say. Her response was “This little guy, with so many health issues is helping to spread love everywhere to everyone.”

So grateful for the seal team of nurses at Shands Pediatric Hospital.

We are currently on week 4 of our family being displaced from one another. It could possibly be 3 more weeks of Ben and Courtney being in the hospital.

Your continued prayers are appreciated.

It’s 3:11am and I’m been awake since 1:00am. This is a normal occurrence. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in my 59 year old body, with sleeping being a major issue in my life. It’s stupid and while I lie here angry at my body for not resting. I’ll update this space on Benjamin.
Benjamin had open heart surgery yesterday at Shands Pediatric Hospital in Gainesville Florida. How lucky are we to have a leading Children’s Hospital in our back door?

The day began early. Justin and I left home at 6am since we were told they could come as early as 7:30am to take Ben for surgery. Steve stayed home with the three big boys so that I could go to the hospital for the day.

I hadn’t seen Ben or Courtney in 12 days except through FaceTime. We are constant companions in normal circumstances so our lives have been different and I seriously miss her presence.

Upon arrival to the hospital, Ben and Courtney had been moved to the pre-op surgical floor. Little Ben gifted me with a smile when I opened the door to the room and I melted just a little. Today was going to be a big day.

I wasn’t sure I would even be allowed to see him let alone hold him and my wish was granted.

Around 9:15am, I saw a familiar figure standing outside our room. My sweet friend Wendy had come to the hospital and was praying with her hands against the wall outside our room.

“What are you doing here?” I asked after hugging her.

“I came to take care of you today” she said. “Courtney and Justin have each other and I’m here all day.” I cry as I type. I would never have asked anyone to come. Women are so prideful and we think we can do it all, give all we have and never ask for anything in return. We are WRONG and Wendy’s presence yesterday was a gift.

Bens surgery was supposed to take 6 hours give or take. The surgeons Nurse Practitioner Michelle kept us informed of the progress throughout the day and around 3:00, Ben was off of the heart by-pass machine and his little heart was repaired and beating on its own.

Relief is such an understatement but we knew that Ben would remain in the hospital for another 3 weeks as he healed from the surgery.

Two hours later we move up to the ICU floor waiting room. We would wait for Ben to come out of the surgical floor and be moved to the ICU.

Would we see him?

I was hopeful but skeptical. What would he look like? He turned 6 months old this week but he is still the size of a newborn. He has been sick his whole little life and while this day is a new start to Bens life, what will we see? The surgeon warned of swelling. Lots of babies retain fluid and they can look full and unlike themselves.

The baby bed pulls up to the door and we see Ben. He is covered with a sheet and is attached to many machines. There are five grown adults walking beside his bed. I look directly to the anesthesiologist, who we had spoken to earlier in the morning, and his response was, “He did great!”

I cried in relief.

The anesthesiologist said they would be taking Benny to his room and tucking him in. It would be another hour or so but Dr. Bleiweis would be by shortly to speak to us.

Two hours later. Dr. Bleiweis, Bens surgeon and world renowned Pediatric heart surgeon came through the door. He is smiling and so kind.

We look for news in his eyes and while he said Ben is doing great, he also said that the hole in Bens heart was HUGE. He had two holes in his walnut shaped heart separated by a strip of muscle that together made a very large hole. His words were “I’m not sure how Ben held on as long as he did.” While we knew Ben was sick, thoughts of him “not hanging on” was never a blip in my mind. Ben now has a patch covering the giant hole in his heart. The hope is that as his heart grows, the patch remains and no further surgeries will be required. His aortic arch coarctation was also repaired and it is hopeful that it will also not need any further surgeries.

Dr. Bleiweis drew me a picture of Bens aortic arch coarctation. The top is “before” and the bottom is “after.”

How someone can fix baby hearts is a mystery to me.

Bens recovery will be intense for a few days. He will have to go back to surgery in the next couple of days for a small procedure. Everyone, especially his Mommy is struggling with exhaustion.

Continue to pray for us? While the surgery day is behind us, the upcoming days will be difficult.

I will end this update with a song that has been swirling since my 1am wake up call.

https://youtu.be/Z32HiCoFzlU?si=mL5IHO4uAXJi2KM4

Holy, there is no one like You
There is none beside You
Open up my eyes in wonder
And show me who You are
And fill me with Your heart
And lead me in Your love to those around me

Father God,

What a good God you are. Thank you for the gift of Benjamin. Thank you for his little life and for allowing us to be his family. You created him and knew him before he was even born. We praise you for him. I pray tonight/this morning for his parents. I pray you give them strength in the coming days. I pray you touch their bodies in miraculous ways. Allow people to see your love through Courtney and Justin as they care for Ben and interact with others. I pray for Bens Doctors and for the other caregivers that will be in his presence. I pray for the community that surrounds this family. The hundreds of people that have prayed for us the past months and who will continue to pray to you on our behalf in the days ahead. As Steve and I stand in the gap caring for little men; give us strength. Give us patience and an extra abundance of love as they miss the normalcy of their parents. I pray for rest. I asked that you fill us with whatever it takes for the coming weeks. We will continue to praise you in this storm and are eternally grateful for the love you show us everyday.

Thank you in advance for your love and the guidance we receive daily.

In Jesus Holy name.

Amen

Benjamin was born on November 26th , 2023.

Here is his birth story:

https://abandonedocala.com/2023/11/30/6-4-2-brand-new/

Perfect in every way.

However Ben couldn’t eat.

He screamed with every suck from either his Momma or a man made formula.

He did not gain weight.

They labeled him Failure to Thrive.

Bens parents diligently went from Dr to Specialist to Therapist, trying to help their youngest baby.

It took Doctors 5 months to figure out what was wrong with Ben

Finally he was given an ultrasound and was immediately requested to go to Shands Pediatric Hospital. Ben has a moderate to large inter muscular hole in his heart (VSD) with a narrowing of his aortic arch. I would have never known this terminology without living through it.

Courtney and Ben were admitted and the tests began. Surgery was scheduled and Courtney and Ben spent a week in the hospital. The surgery was scheduled for May 28th and Ben seemed to be doing okay on some new medications and they released him home until the surgery date.

Courtney and Ben were able to be at home for a week before Ben got a bad cough. While he has 3 older brothers and a large family that he lives with, germs are in abundance. Upon taking him back to Shands for a check, it was determined it would be safer for Benny and Courtney to remain in the hospital until his surgery date. They were also put in isolation so that Ben has a better chance not to contract any other sicknesses.

What do people do that have no support?

Since we live in a multi generational home there is never a need for babysitters. When we received the news of Bens illness, there was never a question that Steve, myself and Nana Bea would step up and become temporary parents to three little men.

Jack -7 years old

Luke- 4 years old and

Patrick – 3 years old

Since we are in the same household with them on a full time basis, we already know their wants and needs, their personality and their quirks. We discipline next to the their parents so we know the limits they are allowed and those they are not. We know the food they like and of course those they don’t. It’s NOT easy stepping into the role of substitute parent, but we can do it.

But what do people do that don’t have a support system? What does a single Momma or Daddy do when she/he has a sick baby or child and needs to work to provide food, shelter and health insurance for their family?

Is it still hard?

You bet it is.

Little boys need and want their parents, who are living in the hospital or working and traveling every day to and from the hospital every evening after working a full day.

We have had so much support during this time.

Dinners prepared.

Play dates, even video game playing with Uncle Kyle in Massachusetts. The joy this activity brings, is unprecedented.

So many prayers and words of encouragement.

Community has shown up big for us and we could not be more grateful.

I am so glad to not have to punch a time clock and that Steve has freedom to not be in the office.

There has been lots of swimming (thank goodness for summer weather), lots of golf cart rides and playing at the park. Lots of reading, puzzles and movies.

Little boys are full of energy.

SO

MUCH

ENERGY

As of today, we are 4 days away from surgery day.

Yesterday we found out that Bens surgery date would be postponed one day. Not because of Ben; but because of the abundance of transplants that have been scheduled at the hospital.

It has made me think.

As we processed the disappointment of the surgery being pushed back a day. 5 children were receiving a new organ, while 5 other families processed losing a loved one and decided to donate organs. Some of the children, have lived in the hospital for TWO YEARS waiting for their transplant. That’s 10 children. 10 children’s families and loved ones. I can’t be disappointed about one day. We will pray for those families.

As we approach surgery day, we haven’t shared with many people our current situation. Some work colleagues, my porch ladies, prayer warriors but not the masses.

Today, I ask you to add us to your prayers, share with your friends and allow others to speak to Jesus on our behalf. Many will enter their houses of worship tomorrow and I hope that you will share our prayer request.

Wednesday morning, May 29th, our little Ben will be in surgery for 6 hours. He will be having his sweet little heart fixed and while we are so grateful for the surgeon and the teams serving Ben. It’s impossible not to be nervous.

Will you pray for Bens family too. His Mommy who has been in isolation with him for over a week and looks after his every need, his Daddy who has continued to work and has driven back and forth to the hospital almost every night while still making his other kids feel seen and loved, Bens Papa (Steve) and BB (Charma) and Nana (Bea) who have stood in the gap to care for these sweet young boys, our family and friends who have supported us like no other.

While this has been a difficult season of our lives, our God is good. He is faithful and true. He loves us like no other and soon, Ben will be running with his brothers being all fat and happy as a baby should.

Thank you in advance from our family to yours

On July 10, 2023, Abigail Dawn was born. Here is her birth story.

https://abandonedocala.com/2023/09/28/her-fathers-joy/

We immediately became an Open Adoption family.

What does that mean????!!!!!

I barely knew anyone that was even adopted, let alone be in an open adoption where complete strangers become families and we all love the same little human?

But that is exactly what it is.

I hear that there can never ever be too much love for a child.

While I became a bystander in the life of Abby. I say bystander because I am not her parent, so I lovingly stand beside her parents and love her. I always want to have a front row seat in the lives of my children and grandchildren.

At Abby’s adoption on September 7th of 2023, we met her birth family. Her Birth Mommy and Daddy and big sister Haley. Her brother Caleb couldn’t come to the adoption due to illness. We immediately bonded over this baby and I knew we would be friends/family. How that would work was a mystery since her birth family lives in Alabama, we live in Florida and Abby and her Daddy’s live in Massachusetts.

We tried to gather at Christmas time 2023 but schedules did not permit it to happen.

It was decided that we would all meet up in Massachusetts in February 2024.

Would it actually happen? I’m not sure but Steve and I were taking a road trip and hoped it would materialize into some time spent together, getting to know Abby’s birth family.

As time grew near, Abby’s Alabama family’s travel plans to Massachusetts were finalized and they got to Kyle and Moshes house a few days before we arrived. They spent time at the Boston Aquarium.

When we arrived a day later…….

Would it be weird?

Would we have awkward conversation?

It was none of those.

It was sweet and we laughed and talked about ourselves and what makes us…..well us. We talked of our pasts and some of our wishes for the future.

We all loved on Abby and watched the others love on Abby.

We went on a family walk.

This is not the last extended family get together. We are already planning the second and then we will chat about the third and so on and so on and so on.

Abby turns ONE in July and we will be hosting her birthday party in Ocala!!!

THIS is Open Adoption and I’m all for it.

I like January.

It’s a new year.

It’s a new month.

The hubbub of the holidays is past and my house can be put back in order and all the twinkly lights put away.

I don’t like January weather.

I don’t like taxes looming.

I don’t like the scale.

But January provides a new start.

It seems like every January I get a burst of energy and the list gets long, longer, longest of items to do, things to create and projects to build.

This January 2024, I decided to finish what I’ve started.

So

Many

Things!!!

The first is to finish the Piano room .

I’m pretty sure back in 1903 when our house was built, it was call the parlour or the formal room, but to me it’s the piano room. Because…….well my piano sits in this room. It could also be the plant room because it gets the BEST light and some of my favorite plants live in this room.

A couple of weeks ago, I asked some friends about the two French doors that lead into the piano/plant room.

White or Black??

It was a resounding Black so……..

Good choice friends. I think they look fabulous.

When you enter the Piano/plant room, directly in front is a chair and my Dads old gun cabinet that I restored and it now holds memorabilia from family members who’ve already left for heaven.

The photo that sits on top is the old farmhouse Dad grew up in in Ohio. It’s name was Grandview and that’s what we call our old house too.

To the right is the fireplace.

The left door is a closet and the right leads to our primary bedroom and bathroom. I recently put up the molding and painted.

The fireplace doesn’t work………yet.

Around the corner is my little desk area. Not often so I need a desk but it comes in handy. The wall above has vintage baskets that hold envelopes and stamps, bills to be paid and invoices waiting to file. And tax stuff. Yuck.

Behind the piano is the bay window that shines light on my favorite plants. I recently painted all the window trim black. That was fun. NOT.

I added floor to ceiling curtains to frame the windows and soften the room. I left them monochromatic to the walls so they didn’t take away from the windows. Some of the old windows still have the original wavy glass.

See my Fiddle Fig Felicity? She’s my favorite. she takes up a lot of space and Steve seems to think she would be trimmed. We disagree.

The next wall will change soon. This black dresser was refinished to go in our new room addition. The addition should be completed in a few months and I wil be replacing this dresser with another piece.

The best part of the room is it’s namesake.

My piano……

January isn’t quite over and I’m almost finished with project #2.

Happy January!

Hey Dad!

Today is your 6th heaven day. I can’t believe it’s been six years and while that’s a long time, as the day approaches each and every year, my heart shutters a little. I miss our time together and WOW have our lives exploded since you’ve been gone. Just this year, we added two new babies! Babies were always your favorite. Mom is doing a great job rocking the babies.

A couple of weeks ago I was at church. Our pastor was speaking of his Dad during his message and I saw his sister leave. It was a few minutes and I got worried about her so I went to the bathroom to check on her. Their Daddy left for heaven 3 years ago and Christmas time is really hard. I felt like I could actually give her some advise. Since I’m 3 years ahead of her in my journey of missing you. I told her that she will always be sad but as time passes, it gets a little easier. It’s okay to have bad days, it just can’t be everyday. I told her that December was always a hard month because you were so sick in December and those days seem to cloud all the others. Christmas time was her Daddy’s favorite holiday and grief sometimes steals all the joy. While the grief never goes away, time does continue on and one day she’ll look at Christmas with awe and wonderment again. It won’t just look like sadness and emptiness.

Each year on December 30th I remember our time together. We really had fun. I’ve taken over the garage – literally – with all the projects I’ve got going on. You would be in hog heaven. Little boys fill our home with joy and laughter. Abby is the cutest baby girl and she would be wrapped tightly around your finger. When Kyle visits, we speak of you often.

Mom is doing great. December is always a rough one but she has friends and stays busy around the house.

We all miss you Pops but when I spoke to my friend about her Pops. I mentioned that heaven is so great, I could never, even if I could, ask you to come back. All we can do is wait for the day we are reunited. Heaven is so real and I’m thankful I never have to wonder if I’ll see you again. I’m positive you are a greeter at the gates of heaven. I can see you wrapping people in hugs and welcoming them in. Especially when you see a familiar face.

I absolutely will see you again. I’ll be meeting you at the gate.

Your family loves you Dad.

Love,

Your baby girl

Sunday, November 26th was a typical day. We usually go to church but I just felt like I needed a rest day.

So we stayed home from church.

We stayed home from our churches monthly neighborhood meal.

Steve stayed home from a men’s lunch meeting.

3:45pm-Courtneys water broke. It was baby time.

The last few weeks have been a blur. We were preparing for baby 4, Mom had her 88th birthday, thanksgiving came and went. We are building a room onto our home, we’ve been working on our new land/property, and so on and so on.

It seems like when it gets to 5 grandkids the newness wears off.

Jack is 6

Luke is 4

Patrick is 2

Abby is 4 months

Benjamin is brand new

But it doesn’t

We prepared for the birth in a pool again. Steve set it up downstairs as soon as labor began.

I listen for the sounds of labor as I sit on the stairs. My usual perch.

Past labors, her water has never broke early. It’s always been during or at the end so this was already different. 3:45pm and labor pains were 13-15 minutes apart. Courtney was hungry and Justin made her spicy Thai curry. She has always asked for spicy foods during labor.

7:30pm and we are trying decide where the big boys will sleep and if we need to start caffeinating for a long night. I went ahead and had a cup of coffee.

Moments later Justin returns from upstairs and Courtney requested for the tub to be filled up. Contractions have gone down to 3 minute apart and labor pains are intense.

The midwives have just arrived and within minutes, I hear moans of labor.

My Momma heart hurts when her child is in pain. Even pains of labor . What a miracle a woman’s body is.

Pushing has begun and she never made it downstairs to the pool. Instead baby boy was born on the sectional couch in the big boys playroom.

Benjamin Aaron Roger Wissinger (4) entered the world at 8:12PM weighing 8 pounds and 8 ounces and 21” long He looks exactly like his big brother Luke.

This old house holds so many big events but childbirth has got to be the best.

Thank you midwives for caring for our girl and our newest grand boy. Your patience and care are appreciated and I could never express my gratitude in word or deed. Your job is so much more than a job. You bring life into the world and I’m always in awe of you.

So today, a few days later and people have had to go to work to tie up loose ends, little men still need to be fed 3 meals, 18 snacks and dessert with every meal including bribery treats to leave Mommy alone and we are all on limited hours of sleep. New Mommy’s needs are also in the mix. While this is a full time job and there is absolutely no pay involved, I’m grateful to not have to punch a time clock for someone else and I can tend to the needs of the people that live at 704.

We are super low key this week and most of us, not mentioning names, might still be in their pjs.

Thank you for your prayers and love notes for me and the family.

While the house is full and life is abundant, we praise the maker of heaven and earth and are eternally grateful for His gifts of life to us.

Abigail is from the book of 1st Samuel in the Holy Bible.

Her name means “Her Father’s Joy.”

Our Pastor spoke of Abigail in church a few Sundays ago. He spoke so fondly of her and called her the embodiment of wisdom.

Little did he know that our granddaughter was born on July 10th and her name is Abigail. Her Abba (Moshe: Daddy in Hebrew) and her Daddy (Kyle) had shared with me the meaning of her name earlier in the week. I thought it was so speacial and when I learned of Abigail in the Bible, it made my heart swell even more.

Abigail “Abby” was wished for.

Abby was prayed for.

Abby was yearned for.

When Kyle and Moshe began the adoption process it’s was absolutely foreign to me. I have no experience with anything adoption related. Only a few friends who have adopted children have I had any experience or knowledge.

June 16th, as I sat in a baby shower for a sweet friend, I waited on a phone call from Kyle. We knew that Kyle and Moshe had a call that day with a perspective birth family.

The end. I knew nothing else.

No names, no information, no due dates, no gender…………nothing .

As I sat at the baby shower, I had my phone sitting next to me so that I wouldn’t miss the call. Kyle had promised to call with any and all news.

Just a few days before the scheduled call, Kyle and Moshes adoption portfolio, home study and photo book had been requested from a birth family. Their baby would be born in August and it was a little girl.

My thoughts about what Kyle would say includes:

“Yeah they like us, maybe we will hear back and maybe we won’t.”

“The call went okay, I guess maybe we will hear something.”

My friend Lynn, sitting next to me at the shower, tapped me on my arm and pointed to my phone and said “Kyle is calling you.”

While I didn’t want to miss his call, I also did not want to disrupt the shower. I grabbed my phone and stepped out into the lobby of the church where the shower was being held.

I answered intending to hear the thoughts from above.

But instead I heard……

Mom, we are having a baby.

What???????????????????

They picked us Mom. I could hear tears and BIG emotion in his voice.

Before the call ended with the birth family, they said they would be moving forward with the adoption.

I cried. If you know me….big shock.

I jumped up and down and high stepped around the little church lobby trying not to be a distraction to the others inside.

It was rather hard to contain my excitement.

I would have a granddaughter.

I began planning. Planning what you ask?

I’m not sure but I always seem to have something swirling around in my head.

How about the play kitchen I would build for her?

Her nursery!!! Can I help design it?

Ruffled socks and BIG bow headbands!

Baby girl would arrive on August 7th via c-section. The birth family wanted Kyle and Moshe to be at the hospital so plans were already made for them to be in Alabama for her birth. After her birth, they would come to Florida to visit us and Moshe’s parent in New Smyrna Beach before returning to Massachusetts.

Fast forward to July 10th, 24 days after the call with the birth family and one whole month before her due date.

A phone call comes in to Steve at 4:30AM (I didn’t hear my phone ring) The birth Moms water broke and a c-section will happen early afternoon on July 10 in Alabama. Kyle and Moshe are in Massachusetts. They pack in 15 minutes and are on the road for an 18 hour drive to meet their daughter.

Abigail Dawn Dahaman-Kern

6 pounds 4 ounces

18 1/2” long

Perfect in every way.

While Abby’s adoption is open and we plan to spend much time with her birth family, it’s still a huge emotional event. One family opens up their heart to a child while another says see you soon. I can only imagine the emotions…..

September 7th was a monumental day in our family. We traveled to Alabama to witness the adoption of Abigail. We met Abbys birth family. Mark, Sarah, Hailey and Caleb (Caleb was sick -BOO) and they joined our family that day too. We sat around a lunch table and shared the love of Abby while learning about each others families. We laughed and exchanged cell phone numbers as well as photos and promised to keep in touch.

Guess what? We have. We text, we send photos and we are planning for them to spend some time with us in Ocala for Christmas!

Abby joins a family (Dahaman and Kern) full of love. Full of joy. Full of a little crazy.

Abby,

You are the luckiest girl in the whole world. Your Daddy’s love you so much and I am so grateful I get to sit in the front row and watch you grow. I can’t wait to buy you dolls or trucks, whichever you want and play kitchen or even baseball. Again…..whichever you want. Let’s braid hair and build stuff. Ok?

The attorney at the adoption said as she spoke to your Daddy’s. As of this day, “it was as if you birthed her.”

What a miracle you are.

Love,

BB

While the bathroom is not new, it was designed and built in 2016 with the renovation of our home.

It needed a facelift and I had some really specific ideas.

Some worked

Some did not

The previous cabinet I used for towels, medicines, etc was a hand me down from Mom and Dads house. It was leftover from the previous owners so who knows who or where it came from.

This is the cabinet after taking it out of the bathroom , assuming it would be given a re-do and put up for sale.

I found the perfect cabinet, so I thought to add some more storage.

I gave it the perfect facelift and it was ready to be installed.

It was ridiculous heavy and hauling stuff in and out of the house is my favorite helpers least favorite thing to do, besides hanging things.

The day arrives to bring it inside.

I am so excited.

It’s too big! It sits too close to the tub and the doors can’t open.

Measuring is not my forte.

Emotions are high and it has to removed.

It gets stuck in the doorway and almost falls on my favorite helper.

The perfect cabinet will now have a new “different” home. Oops.

Now what do I do?

There are towels, sheets and bathroom stuff sitting EVERYWHERE and I do not have a Plan B.

Sometimes it just takes a little creativity. My brain swirling began and I took a second look at the original cabinet. I KNEW it fit so that wasn’t an issue.

Months ago, Patrick and I went for a walk and someone had thrown away the cutest spindles. We live in a historic district so most homes are super old. While I didn’t have a plan for them, I knew one day they would have a purpose.

Spindles became new legs and the new cabinet became the height I wanted. It got a new paint job and I painted the hardware to match the new vibe.

And it’s perfect