Words of Truth

Yesterday was like any other Sunday.

I got up, after an extra glorious hour of sleep, thank you time change.

I got ready.

I was excited to be on the worship team at church. I was leading one of my favorite songs. I Am Who You Say I am by Hillsong Worship. It was my first time leading since we began attending Brick City Church. I have led this song many times before and it holds a special place.

We rehearse and the song list was great! I have a new team of people that I’m singing with and making new friends is always fun.

The piano plays the introduction.

I’m not nervous. The song is familiar and I know the words like the back of my hand.

The chorus begins

“Who the Son sets free
Oh is free indeed
I’m a child of God
Yes I am”
I start to get a giant lump in my throat.
Come on Charma………get a grip.
Put your tongue on the roof of your mouth…….that will stop the tears.
Look up to the ceiling. That’s a trick to stop crying.
I can’t get the words out.
The emotions are high.
I’m choking out every word.
I hadn’t sang this song since we had to make the difficult choice to change our place of worship. The flood of memories hit me hard. But more than that…….. the words.
“Free at last, He has ransomed me
His grace runs deep
While I was a slave to sin
Jesus died for me
Yes He died for me”
As I write the words, I’m still overwhelmed with His Love for me.
Blast it.
I’m so mad after the song is over. My first time with a solo part and I blubber.

The people in this place of worship do not know me, they don’t know I cry at the drop of a hat and songs……well they touch my soul.

I grab a tissue and I sit down when the song is over. They will probably not want me to sing again. Who wants the crying chick to ruin the worship experience for others?

I’m so mad!!

I silently text my friend.

Yes I said shit in church

I’m thankful for people who will speak truth. Even when it sucks and I don’t really want to hear it.

What are you Prideful about today?

It’s not a quality I’m proud of but situations arise and it’s a way to grow.

I write about this because I want to remember and grow when this pops up in my memories next year and the year after.

I’m going to keep singing.

Singing about His love for me.

Singing at the top of my lungs while dancing in the kitchen

Singing when I have earbuds in and I’m sure it sounds awful.

And most of all…….. singing when the lump forms in my throat.

Have a wonderful week!

About Charmadawn

Jesus lover 💜 Wife of Steve for 34 years 💜 Mom to 2 grown kiddos 💜 BB to grandsons Jack and Luke 💜4 years ago we purchased, Rescued and Restored a 116 year old farmhouse and we live together as a multigenerational household. Come follow our crazy. Isaiah 54:7
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3 Responses to Words of Truth

  1. Lyndsey says:

    That’s a beautiful story. I feel music in my soul too and if I were a person watching you on Sunday morning, I would’ve thought wow she must have a really deep story and she must feel music the way I do. I love that you found growth in that though. We miss seeing y’all!

    Like

  2. Sandy says:

    The greatest singer’s and song writers of gospel music I would say cry when they pen those words to paper.I have see Gloria Gather shed tears when she sings.Absolutely nothing to be ashamed of every tear you shed yesterday was for the glory of God.I do understand I have been there before.I sang in front of my brother one time and he said I sounded like a friend of my mom and dads.I just didn’t know how to take that.Come to find out it was a good thing.My brother gave me his approval.That friend happened to be a man.You are a beautiful singer.Get up next Sunday and shed more tears maybe someone needed that.

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