We try and have dinner together, all of us, every night. Mostly we talk about our days and banter with toddlers.
I have missed a few nights due to being out of town and spending time at the hospital.
Tonight, my brother is in town and we gathered around the table. Conversation consisted mostly of hospital talk.
Mom is in the hospital
Our cousin Debbie is in the hospital
It was light hearted talk until I spoke of walking in and out of the ICU
It is necessary to check in with the attendant before walking into the ICU. You must give the patients name, the room number and your relationship to the patient
As I enter the ICU each day numerous times, I walk the halls all the way back to room 117
It’s impossible not to see the people who are in the rooms. The very sick people. The people with tubes and wires keeping them alive. The people who are unconscious and torn up from accidents. The people who are behind a glass partition due to isolation. It’s impossible not see the woman who sits outside the glass partition because she can’t be with the one she loves but needs to be close.
It’s impossible not to see the man on a big round machine that our recent nurse described as the last thing that they can do for someone.
It’s impossible not to hear the man next door to moms room who has had a brain injury.
I walk into my mothers room where she is most definitely sick. She is in pain and just wants to come home but knows she can’t yet. She is feeling well enough to crack a few jokes and called me a smart ass today for being sassy.
She will get better.
I don’t know. I don’t know if they will get better and my heart breaks just a little every day when I walk in the halls and a little more in the evening when I walk back out.
Each and every person has a story
Most, I assume have families that love them and just want them to get better.
My heart is heavy for those people.
Tonight, at the dinner table I cried a little for the people whose room I walk by every day as I told the story of how Mom is doing.
He said “BB, are they boys or girls, the sick people?”
“I don’t know buddy “ I replied
“We should pray for them like we prayed for Nana.”
“Yes Jack, that’s exactly what we should do”