Sometimes I Don’t Want to

Does God ever tell you to do something?

Personally, most of the time it’s “I don’t want to.”

Not because I’m disobedient

Not because I don’t think it’s the right thing to do

Not because I don’t believe He has my best interest at heart

It IS the RIGHT a thing to do.

I probably need to apologize for something stupid I did or said (this is normally the case)

I’m sure that I am suppose to give encouragement to someone.

Yesterday, two different people said something sweet to me.

One said I was tender. What? Me tender? It was in reference to my tears and my ability to cry at any and all circumstance. I never consider myself tender (maybe towards the grand boys when they aren’t acting the fool)

Am I happy? I cry

Am I mad? I cry (this is the norm)

Am I frustrated? I cry

I want to be tender. I love that quality about people. Soft and gooey. Loving and kind.

Thanks friend for giving me “tender.”

The next person said I was Real and Honest.

Real to a fault. “How do you really feel Charma?” This is the most sarcastic sentence. I can’t seem to not be real. And if my mouth doesn’t say it, my face does.

I’m not always honest. If someone asks me an opinion, of course I will be honest.

My dishonesty comes from within.

If someone hurts my feelings, I won’t tell them.

If I feel something weird in a relationship, I won’t confront them. It has to be me right? I’ve done something wrong so I deserve it?

Today, my gut feels weird about a close friend. There is something stirring and I can’t put my finger in it.

God told me this morning to ask.

Ask what God?

Can you give me a hint? I’m terrified of being hurt or losing a friend.

Maybe it’s nothing but maybe it’s something.

Maybe if I sweep it under the proverbial rug, it will disappear. It will just go away and then I won’t have to deal with it.

Once a sweet friend told me that I should write out my feelings because I seemed to write what others are thinking.

So today, if you read this…..are you struggling with doing what God says? Are you having a hard time listening to Him? Is there someone or something in your life that has you questioning? Will you confront the issue?

It’s Monday and my list grows. It’s thanksgiving week and WOW do I have much to be thankful for. I’m trying to turn down the noise of “things that do” and focus on thankfulness. There is still a list..but this girl will remain focused on people vs. the list.

Happy Monday friends. I am thankful for you.

About Charmadawn

Jesus lover 💜 Wife of Steve for 36 years 💜 Mom to 2 grown kiddos 💜 BB to grandsons Jack, Luke and Patrick Joseph 💜5 years ago we purchased, Rescued and Restored a 118 year old farmhouse and we live together as a multigenerational household. Come follow our crazy. Isaiah 54:7
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