A celebration of a life you didn’t know

IMG_0523I attended a funeral today. I read her obituary, I met her significant other Frank. I cooked  bought food for the family. All of that is all well and good but why do we attend funerals for people we don’t know?

The reason is because we love the family that is left behind. Pat knew Jesus. She left this earth on November 23rd and immediately met Jesus. The best day ever………….it’s always hardest on the ones left behind.

Funerals make me uncomfortable. I would rather do just about anything else. Me, the girl who can talk to anyone, but at funerals what do you say? I usually just hug weirdly and try to figure out what to say to the other family members that I do not know. Am I the only one? Come on!!!

However I love the family that is attached to Patricia Ann Stender.  As I sat at the funeral this morning I looked around. I do not know everyone that attended this morning but I did know that most of the people there were not blood relatives. They were however our Church of Hope family. People that love like family. People that show up when life is hard. People that you know without a shadow of a doubt you can count on no matter what.

Ray Stender might not have any biological brothers and sisters but he has us. He has many friends like family that will hold him up when he just can’t seem to do it alone. Alone is not in the vocabulary of our small group. Ray knows that if he needs anything that there are 20 people on speed dial that would be there in a moments notice and what’s so great is that we all know that Ray would do the same for us.

Funerals aren’t for us. They are for the loved ones who are hurting. Sometimes we have to push aside the uncomfortable weirdness and love on the people that are important to us. The pastor this morning said that Pat has an “Extreme Makeover.” She is no longer in pain. She has turned in her wheelchair for her dancing shoes.


the girl who will treat Ray to the Cheesecake Factory when life isn’t so hard.




About Charmadawn

Jesus lover 💜 Wife of Steve for 36 years 💜 Mom to 2 grown kiddos 💜 BB to grandsons Jack, Luke and Patrick Joseph 💜5 years ago we purchased, Rescued and Restored a 118 year old farmhouse and we live together as a multigenerational household. Come follow our crazy. Isaiah 54:7
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